September, 2018

Why walking into a church for the first time can be like the first day of Middle School:
The importance of  intentional hospitality
          
Over the past seven years, between seminary, field ed, supply preaching and family events, I’ve had the chance to visit a lot of churches and even for a “trained professional,” walking into a new church alone for the first time can conjure up memories of that first day of middle school. You remember that feeling. You don’t know anyone or where things are or what you’re supposed to do. And you don’t know if you’ll be accepted.
  
Most churches think of themselves as welcoming and most try to be. But it is usually the small things—the things that once you are at home in a place, you don’t even see anymore that can make newcomers feel uncomfortable. Here are a few things that I have encountered in my travels. I hope that they will serve as a spark for your imagination as you think about ways to make CLC even more welcoming.

Show me the way: The first time I attended what would become my home church in NC, I couldn’t figure out how to even get into the building, let alone find the sanctuary! The sprawling building having evolved over the years had no obvious front door and there were no signs in the parking lot. I never did find my way into the traditional worship that day; instead I wound up in a small contemporary prayer service in a side chapel. Unfortunately, this wasn’t the only time I’ve found myself wandering around a campus looking for a sanctuary, a fellowship hall, the office or the restrooms.  Signs certainly help but greeters, ushers, and just plain friendly folk who offer a smile and directions can make all the difference in the world.
  
The same can be said for the worship experience. Navigating bulletins, hymnals (ELW? WOV?  Hymn vs. page numbers?) can be challenging. Offering to sit with newcomers helps them feel like they belong and puts you close enough to offer help (like an ELW opened to the correct page) if they need it. The instructions that appear in CLC’s bulletin for how and who may celebrate communion helps relieve some of  the discomfort of not knowing what to do to.Recently, I’ve become acutely aware of the traffic flow at the end of worship. Many times the Pastor will end up back at the main entrance to the sanctuary at the end of worship to catch people, especially newcomers, on the way out while most of the congregation exits out another door for fellowship. At a few churches I’ve been at, the flow of the service leads people into the fellowship space. One church, whose fellowship hall is right next to the sanctuary, throws open the doors that separate the spaces at the end of worship to reveal a feast and offers an invitation for all to partake.

Road kill or fresh meat:  One of the wonderful things about being part of a congregation is all the relationships we make and that wonderful feeling of walking into a place where you are known. Sometimes though, folks are so busy catching up with friends that no one “has time” to start up a conversation with newcomers. There is nothing lonelier than being alone in a crowd. The “sharing of the peace” can also accentuate that feeling of who’s in and who’s not if friends and family are greeted enthusiastically with hugs and conversation while newcomers stand by themselves waiting for someone to shake their hand.
  
On the flip side, too much welcome can also be overwhelming. Several years ago, my sister and I attended worship at a small church in her hometown. After worship, the entire congregation descended on us.  Desperate for new members, when they found out I was from out of town and just visiting, they lost interest in me. On the other hand, my sister who lived locally was like “fresh meat.” After finding out she had a young son, they listed off every committee and youth event they could think of. My sister felt cornered. As a single working mom, she wasn’t looking for more things to do or more responsibility to take on. No one had taken the time to listen to her story; it seemed that they were more interested in filling their needs than finding out why she was there.

Welcome Home? Which brings me to my last question. When we say we
welcome people, what are we welcoming them to do? Visit? Fill open positions, or give us their money?  Tell them what’s wrong with them?  Or be part of the family? The
answer to that question changes how we think about welcome and hospitality. Welcoming folks into the family means making space for them, their ideas and their needs so they can fully participate in the life of the community. To be a Reconciling in Christ congregation lets people know that they will be accepted for who they are. Our West Wing renovation presents us with an opportunity to think about how we can modify our space to be comfortable and accommodating.
  
    After my husband Bill and I visited CLC, we came back because we had been so warmly greeted. How can we insure that everyone who walks through our doors experiences an outpouring of hospitality?   

​Pastor Sue